








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 266 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3742 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3848 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1674 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3263 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,051 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The1 | 68% | 50 |
| #2 | Ron Swanson | 68% | 34 |
| #3 | Luckysh♿t | 52% | 307 |
| #4 | Falte ✪ | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | S0mple | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Luckysh♿t | 52% | 307 |
| #4 | Falte ✪ | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | S0mple | 51% | 53 |
| #6 | Sebbby | 46% | 68 |
| #7 | crash out of the bud | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The1 | 11 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Ron Swanson | 11 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | S0mple | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Luckysh♿t | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | crash out of the bud | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luckysh♿t | 769 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sebbby | 391 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | S0mple | 177 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | The1 | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ron Swanson | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daedric13 | +1.84 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | S0mple | +1.20 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Falte ✪ | +0.76 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | Luckysh♿t | -0.08 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | crash out of the bud | -0.21 | 68 | 47 |





