








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1353 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1586 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1488 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 878 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,614 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | кคzย-- | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | pelogan | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | FER | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | PIПKYツ | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Twitch.tv/Lipizer4gg | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | m8c | 49% | 73 |
| #12 | ✪ Lé | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | Wagnerzera | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | मालिक | 41% | 17 |
| #15 | pandovisk | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lag_404 | 7 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | EmersonShawty | 5 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | PIПKYツ | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | DaN | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | मालिक | 2 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaN | 144 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | lag_404 | 110 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | m8c | 87 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | 〄Lucido | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | PIПKYツ | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | кคzย-- | +6.61 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | pandovisk | +1.25 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | DaN | +1.05 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | EmersonShawty | +0.72 | 86 | 67 |
| #5 | pelogan | +0.62 | 59 | 58 |





