








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5014 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5459 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7820 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5043 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,086,826 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ølting 𝟒❷𝟶 | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | TaY^ | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | ❤️Princess Dødsengel❤ | 47% | 112 |
| #4 | -guts | 47% | 112 |
| #5 | Sage Mode Klaus | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -guts | 47% | 112 |
| #5 | Sage Mode Klaus | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | PandA | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | Yamikagetsu | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Klaus | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤️Princess Dødsengel❤ | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | -guts | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | TaY^ | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | PandA | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Sage Mode Klaus | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -guts | 409 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | ❤️Princess Dødsengel❤ | 290 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sage Mode Klaus | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ølting 𝟒❷𝟶 | 125 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | TaY^ | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -guts | +2.35 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | ❤️Princess Dødsengel❤ | +1.51 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | Sage Mode Klaus | +1.31 | 67 | 45 |
| #4 | Klaus | +0.19 | 51 | 47 |
| #5 | Ølting 𝟒❷𝟶 | -0.15 | 42 | 67 |





