








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3032 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6002 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5080 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5503 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,083,149 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 562 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me(n)talHead | 54% | 167 |
| #2 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 48% | 205 |
| #3 | jeff ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ | 46% | 273 |
| #4 | N7 | 45% | 222 |
| #5 | Bundy | 45% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 48% | 205 |
| #3 | jeff ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ | 46% | 273 |
| #4 | N7 | 45% | 222 |
| #5 | Bundy | 45% | 161 |
| #6 | ☭myoSIN☭ | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeff ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ | 24 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 23 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | N7 | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Me(n)talHead | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ☭myoSIN☭ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N7 | 270 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | jeff ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ | 254 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 230 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Me(n)talHead | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | ☭myoSIN☭ | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | +2.26 | 53 | 63 |
| #2 | jeff ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ | +1.96 | 50 | 58 |
| #3 | Bundy | +1.06 | 39 | 49 |
| #4 | Me(n)talHead | +0.19 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | N7 | -1.07 | 32 | 39 |





