








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4661 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3589 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3525 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4214 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,685 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 887 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jessE | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | BingletonCoochiesmith | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | Day | 49% | 320 |
| #4 | Father Godwin | 46% | 151 |
| #5 | Blxnk | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Day | 47 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Zart'Croft | 15 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Father Godwin | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Blxnk | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Ilon Mots | 7 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Day | 960 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | Blxnk | 270 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Astonishing D | 256 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Father Godwin | 241 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | BingletonCoochiesmith | 192 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrugPeek | +2.35 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | Blxnk | +1.02 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | BingletonCoochiesmith | +0.30 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | Day | +0.07 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | Father Godwin | -0.16 | 64 | 58 |





