










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1037 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1081 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 631 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 923 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,645 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴚǝʞƆbH • Hel | 5 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | ᴚǝʞƆbH • Asgard | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Adam | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Spaghetti | 3 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | ᴚǝʞƆbH • Hel | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴚǝʞƆbH • Hel | +2.58 | 24 | 35 |
| #2 | Adam | +1.57 | 48 | 56 |
| #3 | DriV3r | +0.59 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | ᴚǝʞƆbH • Asgard | +0.02 | 34 | 49 |
| #5 | ᴚǝʞƆbH • Hel | -0.15 | 24 | 38 |





