








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1069 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 759 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1127 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,765 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5head | 45% | 20 |
| #2 | gaybaby | 41% | 277 |
| #3 | PIMUU | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | EASY GETDRECKT | 40% | 35 |
| #5 | Duff-Man | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gaybaby | 41% | 277 |
| #3 | PIMUU | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | EASY GETDRECKT | 40% | 35 |
| #5 | Duff-Man | 31% | 26 |
| #6 | Blauwal | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5head | 8 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | PIMUU | 7 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | EASY GETDRECKT | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | gaybaby | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Blauwal | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaybaby | 98 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | Duff-Man | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | EASY GETDRECKT | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | 5head | 35 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | PIMUU | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIMUU | +3.00 | 64 | 54 |
| #2 | EASY GETDRECKT | +2.64 | 73 | 46 |
| #3 | 5head | +2.14 | 90 | 26 |
| #4 | gaybaby | +1.83 | 53 | 23 |
| #5 | Duff-Man | +0.63 | 36 | 61 |





