








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 345 | 18% |
| Smokes | 495 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 551 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 476 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,721 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sausage sandwich | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | sam.JB | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | 中華製 | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | emasikA | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | chopyyyyyyy | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ビケンザグランマニエ | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | emasikA | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | ✪kaito | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ビケンザグランマニエ | 176 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | chopyyyyyyy | 84 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | emasikA | 74 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪kaito | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | deathco | 47 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪kaito | +4.26 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | 中華製 | +3.17 | 92 | 75 |
| #3 | sausage sandwich | +1.44 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | emasikA | +1.09 | 94 | 55 |
| #5 | ビケンザグランマニエ | +0.83 | 56 | 72 |





