








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 37% |
| Smokes | 30 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,167 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeHeHeHa | 45% | 38 |
| #2 | catfindsaleaf.webm | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | SoySaucy | 17% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeHeHeHa | 45% | 38 |
| #2 | catfindsaleaf.webm | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | SoySaucy | 17% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeHeHeHa | 6 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | catfindsaleaf.webm | 5 | 0.0318 |
| #3 | SoySaucy | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoySaucy | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | HeHeHeHa | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catfindsaleaf.webm | +5.14 | 82 | 13 |
| #2 | HeHeHeHa | +0.20 | 33 | 13 |
| #3 | SoySaucy | -3.07 | 48 | 21 |
| #4 | BrklyPoPtartz | -4.89 | 11 | 25 |





