










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1121 | 32% |
| Smokes | 883 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 585 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $138,536 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyxsan | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Capeee | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Miroljub | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | NENO | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | h4rn | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyxsan | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Capeee | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Miroljub | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | NENO | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | h4rn | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miroljub | 133 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | NENO | 59 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | h4rn | 54 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | kyxsan | 42 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Capeee | 21 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4rn | +2.44 | 89 | 77 |
| #2 | Miroljub | +1.87 | 98 | 62 |
| #3 | kyxsan | +1.65 | 97 | 72 |
| #4 | stressarN | +1.54 | 88 | 68 |
| #5 | Capeee | +0.56 | 91 | 59 |





