








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3395 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3662 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2576 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3218 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,262 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nischl | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | Zydii | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | milfhard | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Schörg Jeinfeld | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Birne | Gaui | nomb.de | 47% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birne | Gaui | nomb.de | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | milfhard | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Nischl | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Schörg Jeinfeld | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schörg Jeinfeld | 149 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | milfhard | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Birne | Gaui | nomb.de | 106 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nischl | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zydii | 19 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sokka | +2.99 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Nischl | -0.07 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | milfhard | -1.57 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | Schörg Jeinfeld | -4.10 | 56 | 54 |
| #5 | Birne | Gaui | nomb.de | -4.59 | 36 | 40 |





