








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 494 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1430 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1078 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,761 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lover of The Russian Queen | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Schörg Jeinfeld | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Sokka | 47% | 165 |
| #4 | Tenk | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Gauthier Mvumbi Thierry | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lover of The Russian Queen | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Schörg Jeinfeld | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Sokka | 47% | 165 |
| #4 | Tenk | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Gauthier Mvumbi Thierry | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sokka | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Lover of The Russian Queen | 7 | 0.0252 |
| #3 | Schörg Jeinfeld | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Tenk | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Gauthier Mvumbi Thierry | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sokka | 536 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Lover of The Russian Queen | 125 | 0.45 | 2 min |
| #3 | Schörg Jeinfeld | 116 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gauthier Mvumbi Thierry | 57 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tenk | 49 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tenk | +4.66 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | Sokka | +3.24 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Lover of The Russian Queen | +0.90 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Gauthier Mvumbi Thierry | +0.04 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Schörg Jeinfeld | -3.02 | 59 | 60 |





