








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 254 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3258 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3622 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2248 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2687 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,391 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 734 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phippe | 48% | 172 |
| #2 | peppapig | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | HSGoran | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | vincent | 41% | 111 |
| #5 | ♡Nicole♡ | 40% | 415 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ♡Nicole♡ | 40% | 415 |
| #6 | HI I'm BOB | 35% | 88 |
| #7 | . | 35% | 120 |
| #8 | OKEJ | 30% | 87 |
| #9 | allu | 24% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 63 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | phippe | 50 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | ♡Nicole♡ | 22 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | HI I'm BOB | 21 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | allu | 7 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡Nicole♡ | 750 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | . | 363 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | vincent | 287 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | phippe | 193 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | HSGoran | 149 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phippe | +5.27 | 91 | 43 |
| #2 | . | +4.35 | 96 | 51 |
| #3 | vincent | +0.98 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | HI I'm BOB | +0.19 | 64 | 52 |
| #5 | jontte | +0.17 | 55 | 48 |





