








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 270 matches | ||
| Wingman | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,680 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3697 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4848 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6883 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7308 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,731,368 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 990 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 54 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | phippe | 25 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | jontte | 22 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | vincent | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | allu | 15 | 0.0017 |





