








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 4% |
| Smokes | 180 | 59% |
| HE Grenades | 25 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 89 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $50,450 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karsteN | 44% | 16 |
| #2 | GroverIsLife | 35% | 20 |
| #3 | papyrus | 32% | 25 |
| #4 | :P | 30% | 27 |
| #5 | Skillero4865 | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | papyrus | 32% | 25 |
| #4 | :P | 30% | 27 |
| #5 | Skillero4865 | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Kneschtie | 17% | 6 |
| #7 | Schmidtpunkt | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papyrus | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GroverIsLife | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | papyrus | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | :P | 22 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | karsteN | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Skillero4865 | 12 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papyrus | +3.01 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | karsteN | +2.28 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | :P | +0.52 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | GroverIsLife | +0.10 | 83 | 48 |
| #5 | Skillero4865 | -2.04 | 79 | 17 |





