








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 690 | 27% |
| Smokes | 646 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,257 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MickSilentπ₯ | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | BABYBUSH | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | dorA | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | Fh1r0 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Jonolex | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dorA | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | Fh1r0 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Jonolex | 54% | 56 |
| #6 | Aktey | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Fripop βββ | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonolex | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | dorA | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Fripop βββ | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | MickSilentπ₯ | 4 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | BABYBUSH | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dorA | 193 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jonolex | 82 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fripop βββ | 77 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | BABYBUSH | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fh1r0 | 45 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MickSilentπ₯ | +5.66 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | dorA | +4.35 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | Fripop βββ | +3.23 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Aktey | +2.99 | 83 | 73 |
| #5 | Fh1r0 | +2.08 | 57 | 78 |





