








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3147 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2270 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3113 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2525 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,736 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jofo | 46 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | pee pee poo poo | 32 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Ultralight Beam | 30 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | zeb. | 19 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | lil bubatz | 18 | 0.0216 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jofo | 535 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | zeb. | 340 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Im/Autistic | 258 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ultralight Beam | 243 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | pee pee poo poo | 122 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultralight Beam | +4.84 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | jofo | +3.50 | 78 | 51 |
| #3 | Akadie | +3.20 | 42 | 56 |
| #4 | zeb. | +0.61 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | pee pee poo poo | +0.41 | 62 | 42 |





