








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3960 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2716 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2789 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2880 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,631 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satisfaction | 55% | 166 |
| #2 | dr perch | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Munna | 47% | 124 |
| #4 | Omarlelie | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satisfaction | 55% | 166 |
| #2 | dr perch | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Munna | 47% | 124 |
| #4 | Omarlelie | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satisfaction | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Munna | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Omarlelie | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satisfaction | 1000 | 0.29 | 27 min |
| #2 | Munna | 288 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Omarlelie | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | dr perch | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satisfaction | +2.48 | 88 | 79 |
| #2 | g0spel- | +1.61 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | Munna | -2.15 | 69 | 51 |
| #4 | Omarlelie | -3.38 | 37 | 46 |
| #5 | dr perch | -4.11 | 23 | 54 |





