








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 533 matches | ||
| Faceit | 383 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7619 | 18% |
| Smokes | 19080 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 6133 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 9273 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,801,648 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2926 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazed man | 809 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Kitten | 621 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #3 | Rain | 382 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bluntforce | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fhoh | 65 | 0.04 | 2 min |





