








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1800 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1454 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $733,635 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CROOK | 55% | 94 |
| #3 | kenshi | 54% | 192 |
| #4 | poisoned chalice | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | koala gamer | 53% | 49 |
| #6 | KennyJ | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kenshi | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | CROOK | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | KennyJ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | poisoned chalice | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | koala gamer | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kenshi | 328 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | poisoned chalice | 309 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | CROOK | 279 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | koala gamer | 274 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | KennyJ | 271 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sloth | +3.72 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | koala gamer | +2.18 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | poisoned chalice | +0.46 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | CROOK | -0.60 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | kenshi | -1.02 | 81 | 52 |





