








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 174 | 31% |
| Smokes | 101 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 147 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 132 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,162 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kon | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | S AN G O T E N | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Galego | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | comandos | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | NOAK | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | NOAK | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | kn1x | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | srfcjames | 11% | 9 |
| #8 | Logik | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | n0x_pt | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comandos | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | srfcjames | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | NOAK | 2 | 0.0174 |
| #4 | kn1x | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Galego | 1 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kn1x | 70 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | NOAK | 40 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #3 | comandos | 25 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | srfcjames | 25 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Galego | 8 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kon | +6.90 | 16 | 75 |
| #2 | comandos | +1.30 | 76 | 43 |
| #3 | n0x_pt | +1.20 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | NOAK | +0.07 | 55 | 83 |
| #5 | kn1x | -0.00 | 61 | 63 |





