








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 855 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1519 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2191 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2465 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $518,521 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeiL | 43% | 111 |
| #2 | triki | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Natsufire | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | Malvert | 40% | 67 |
| #5 | JoeSaga6 | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malvert | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | NeiL | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Natsufire | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | JoeSaga6 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeiL | 384 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Malvert | 253 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Natsufire | 149 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | triki | 66 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | JoeSaga6 | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nash | +1.64 | 81 | 47 |
| #2 | JoeSaga6 | -0.22 | 25 | 52 |
| #3 | NeiL | -1.19 | 60 | 61 |
| #4 | triki | -2.77 | 31 | 48 |
| #5 | Malvert | -3.56 | 41 | 53 |





