








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3848 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4257 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2625 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2865 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,692 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 503 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Uldieb | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | Mojon | 39% | 77 |
| #11 | Malvert | 38% | 47 |
| #12 | Nash | 35% | 23 |
| #13 | idax | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natsufire | 343 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mojon | 301 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | NeiL | 269 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | triki | 219 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Malvert | 176 | 0.19 | 4 min |





