








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 474 | 32% |
| Smokes | 416 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 279 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 327 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,800 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SellOut07 | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Elt0n | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | knL | 42% | 55 |
| #4 | cobra TATE | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | HarenBarbaren | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knL | 20 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | cobra TATE | 7 | 0.0330 |
| #3 | SellOut07 | 5 | 0.0467 |
| #4 | Elt0n | 3 | 0.0148 |
| #5 | HarenBarbaren | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knL | 163 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | HarenBarbaren | 80 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | cobra TATE | 23 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Elt0n | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | SellOut07 | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knL | +6.41 | 75 | 41 |
| #2 | Elt0n | +1.20 | 63 | 48 |
| #3 | HarenBarbaren | -0.52 | 51 | 43 |
| #4 | SellOut07 | -0.93 | 45 | 45 |
| #5 | Grognak | -1.24 | 64 | 42 |





