








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1069 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1233 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 793 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,691 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jS | 55% | 94 |
| #2 | ✪RAeVEN -IwnL- | 54% | 158 |
| #3 | ELit3 | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | sk1p | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jS | 55% | 94 |
| #2 | ✪RAeVEN -IwnL- | 54% | 158 |
| #3 | ELit3 | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | sk1p | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELit3 | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | sk1p | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ✪RAeVEN -IwnL- | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | jS | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪RAeVEN -IwnL- | 518 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | jS | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | ELit3 | 136 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | sk1p | 75 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪RAeVEN -IwnL- | +2.25 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | ELit3 | +1.19 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Acrux | +0.63 | 81 | 46 |
| #4 | jS | -0.60 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | sk1p | -1.31 | 66 | 66 |





