








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3285 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3872 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 313 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,119,089 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaDinkster | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Deerflipper | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | Beamturtle | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | DictatorDan | 51% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Beamturtle | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | DictatorDan | 51% | 93 |
| #6 | cheZ | 36% | 22 |
| #7 | TheBreadmeister | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deerflipper | 7 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | DictatorDan | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | DaDinkster | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Beamturtle | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 152 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | DictatorDan | 117 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | TheBreadmeister | 82 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | DaDinkster | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Deerflipper | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaDinkster | +5.48 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | ZEDS | +2.19 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | DictatorDan | +2.06 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | +0.81 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | TheBreadmeister | -1.54 | 67 | 74 |





