








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 66 | 13% |
| Smokes | 286 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 123 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 45 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,022 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big guyern | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Bluesy | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Chicken Joe | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | imthecleanup | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | Chad Rasher | 46% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chad Rasher | 46% | 193 |
| #6 | CALLOFDUTYBOSS2 | 41% | 96 |
| #7 | Babushka Lady | 40% | 72 |
| #8 | Sir Bouncingcream Sloppentop | 40% | 80 |
| #9 | duolingo dad | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Rasher | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | CALLOFDUTYBOSS2 | 19 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Sir Bouncingcream Sloppentop | 18 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Babushka Lady | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | imthecleanup | 8 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CALLOFDUTYBOSS2 | 376 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Chad Rasher | 238 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Babushka Lady | 142 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | imthecleanup | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | big guyern | 92 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big guyern | +3.93 | 54 | 60 |
| #2 | imthecleanup | +1.95 | 63 | 48 |
| #3 | CALLOFDUTYBOSS2 | +1.36 | 52 | 54 |
| #4 | Bluesy | +0.53 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | Chad Rasher | +0.50 | 49 | 49 |





