








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 471 | 51% |
| Smokes | 201 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 67 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,090 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 38% | 53 |
| #2 | Lyckohoj | 37% | 59 |
| #3 | GeorgieTheKidRizzler | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | Wenia | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 38% | 53 |
| #2 | Lyckohoj | 37% | 59 |
| #3 | GeorgieTheKidRizzler | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | Wenia | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 8 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | GeorgieTheKidRizzler | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Wenia | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | 94 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Wenia | 92 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | GeorgieTheKidRizzler | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 36 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | +5.34 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | +0.23 | 68 | 43 |
| #3 | GeorgieTheKidRizzler | -1.08 | 59 | 32 |
| #4 | Wenia | -2.46 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | Rakhmat Akilov | -3.03 | 45 | 40 |





