








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 835 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1296 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2657 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3090 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,679,556 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | 51% | 525 |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 51% | 492 |
| #3 | Wenia | 45% | 132 |
| #4 | Rakhmat Akilov | 35% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | 51% | 525 |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 51% | 492 |
| #3 | Wenia | 45% | 132 |
| #4 | Rakhmat Akilov | 35% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | 50 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 45 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Wenia | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Rakhmat Akilov | 7 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | 774 | 0.07 | 22 min |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | 393 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #3 | Wenia | 341 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Rakhmat Akilov | 201 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyckohoj | +4.05 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Sgt.TittyMilk | +0.18 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | GeorgieTheKidRizzler | -1.60 | 59 | 35 |
| #4 | Wenia | -2.78 | 46 | 61 |
| #5 | Rakhmat Akilov | -3.22 | 44 | 43 |





