








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6341 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5086 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 3609 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,236 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue Man | 44% | 117 |
| #2 | Green Man | 43% | 179 |
| #3 | Black Man | 42% | 84 |
| #4 | im shit | 30% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue Man | 44% | 117 |
| #2 | Green Man | 43% | 179 |
| #3 | Black Man | 42% | 84 |
| #4 | im shit | 30% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green Man | 37 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Black Man | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Blue Man | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | im shit | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im shit | 174 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Black Man | 121 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Blue Man | 106 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Green Man | 68 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Man | +2.29 | 33 | 56 |
| #2 | Orange Man | +0.58 | 29 | 56 |
| #3 | Blue Man | -0.29 | 17 | 37 |
| #4 | Green Man | -1.03 | 29 | 21 |
| #5 | im shit | -6.11 | 11 | 18 |





