








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 523 matches | ||
| Wingman | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2621 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1309 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1589 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 796 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $133,826 of utility $9 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green Man | 37% | 152 |
| #2 | Blue Man | 35% | 63 |
| #3 | Orange Man | 30% | 112 |
| #4 | Black Man | 29% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green Man | 37% | 152 |
| #2 | Blue Man | 35% | 63 |
| #3 | Orange Man | 30% | 112 |
| #4 | Black Man | 29% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green Man | 33 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Orange Man | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Blue Man | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Black Man | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange Man | 297 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Blue Man | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Green Man | 51 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Black Man | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Man | +1.95 | 31 | 55 |
| #2 | Orange Man | +1.85 | 31 | 60 |
| #3 | Green Man | +0.89 | 33 | 21 |
| #4 | Blue Man | +0.68 | 16 | 37 |
| #5 | im shit | -5.61 | 12 | 21 |





