








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 293 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5417 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5480 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3554 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4552 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $774,097 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeKSulli | 68% | 44 |
| #2 | Oll3boy | 64% | 86 |
| #3 | Jooke | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | ⛴ | 55% | 117 |
| #5 | Rotta | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Oll3boy | 64% | 86 |
| #3 | Jooke | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | ⛴ | 55% | 117 |
| #5 | Rotta | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | OONA OOPPELI | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oll3boy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ⛴ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Jooke | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Rotta | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | OONA OOPPELI | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jooke | 217 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Oll3boy | 191 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | ⛴ | 165 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | PeKSulli | 116 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rotta | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eje | +2.52 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Jooke | +0.69 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | PeKSulli | +0.16 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | ⛴ | -0.31 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | Oll3boy | -1.02 | 66 | 53 |





