








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 33% |
| Smokes | 620 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 476 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,239 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₪ -A$toNeR55- ₪ | 398 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #2 | paruwa. | 221 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | el.wpgg | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | EUKALIPTUS | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | kasuj kurwy nie bilety | 22 | 0.08 | 0 min |





