








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3768 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4142 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2984 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3420 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,870 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaSHo | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | stinkbug | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | Glangford | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | BerZerk | 54% | 83 |
| #5 | b7 | 52% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | HaZ | 50% | 46 |
| #9 | Ubby | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | a idiot | 44% | 54 |
| #11 | Zoot | 37% | 19 |
| #12 | Dirty American | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b7 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Dirty American | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ApeX | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | BerZerk | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | a idiot | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a idiot | 370 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | b7 | 271 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | BerZerk | 237 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | HaZ | 201 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Zoot | 146 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BerZerk | +2.25 | 94 | 60 |
| #2 | Ubby | +1.77 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Dirty American | +1.64 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | Fitzy | +1.41 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | Glangford | +1.30 | 77 | 68 |





