








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2770 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2780 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3990 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2810 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,879 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatchima | 43 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | OccurredElk | 29 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | nanonator102 | 21 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Inhuman Erections | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Haze | 9 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OccurredElk | 767 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | Fatchima | 432 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Haze | 336 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #4 | Inhuman Erections | 266 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | nanonator102 | 133 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshua | +4.30 | 96 | 72 |
| #2 | OccurredElk | +2.14 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Magpie (trash) | +1.88 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Haze | +1.11 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Fatchima | +0.89 | 72 | 48 |





