








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2654 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2729 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1404 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 262 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,102 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Easternxanatos | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Inhuman Erections | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Magpie (trash) | 44% | 123 |
| #5 | BaBomba | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OccurredElk | 32 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Magpie (trash) | 30 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | nanonator102 | 14 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Snowy | 11 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | BaBomba | 10 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OccurredElk | 845 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Magpie (trash) | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Snowy | 210 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | Haze | 143 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #5 | nanonator102 | 141 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | +2.91 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | OccurredElk | +2.07 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Magpie (trash) | +1.39 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | Fatchima | +0.93 | 73 | 49 |
| #5 | Snowy | +0.08 | 79 | 59 |





