








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 234 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2219 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3028 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3287 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2850 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,323 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sophie ♥♥♥ | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | current | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | Former God of CS | 51% | 117 |
| #4 | Glangford | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | UrBoyBangz | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sophie ♥♥♥ | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | current | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | Former God of CS | 51% | 117 |
| #4 | Glangford | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | UrBoyBangz | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sophie ♥♥♥ | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Former God of CS | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | current | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glangford | 404 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Former God of CS | 197 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | UrBoyBangz | 156 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | current | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sophie ♥♥♥ | 27 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glangford | +1.62 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | current | +0.33 | 76 | 37 |
| #3 | KINGCAVE | +0.02 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | Former God of CS | -0.01 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | UrBoyBangz | -0.32 | 86 | 54 |





