








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 639 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 145 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5602 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2856 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 6446 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4819 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,871,253 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | short the banks | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Ish Le Avocado. | 52% | 81 |
| #3 | Xen626 | 50% | 141 |
| #4 | jL | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | His | 46% | 310 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | short the banks | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Ish Le Avocado. | 52% | 81 |
| #3 | Xen626 | 50% | 141 |
| #4 | jL | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | His | 46% | 310 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jL | 17 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | His | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | short the banks | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Xen626 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | His | 1290 | 0.20 | 41 min |
| #2 | Xen626 | 578 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | 304 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | jL | 101 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | short the banks | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hers | +2.54 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | short the banks | +1.39 | 55 | 56 |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | +0.41 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | jL | -0.08 | 35 | 24 |
| #5 | Xen626 | -0.15 | 51 | 64 |





