










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




209 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1364 | 29% |
| Smokes | 765 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1402 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,386 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naga | 66% | 155 |
| #2 | MaXtor | 61% | 446 |
| #3 | Halvoris | 59% | 310 |
| #4 | POWER | 58% | 302 |
| #5 | Oskitoonli | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naga | 66% | 155 |
| #2 | MaXtor | 61% | 446 |
| #3 | Halvoris | 59% | 310 |
| #4 | POWER | 58% | 302 |
| #5 | Oskitoonli | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halvoris | 164 | 0.0264 |
| #2 | MaXtor | 68 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Naga | 63 | 0.0205 |
| #4 | POWER | 47 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Oskitoonli | 7 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halvoris | 778 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | MaXtor | 669 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #3 | POWER | 490 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Oskitoonli | 76 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Naga | 44 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaXtor | +5.43 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Naga | +2.67 | 64 | 21 |
| #3 | Halvoris | +2.07 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | POWER | +0.00 | 55 | 51 |
| #5 | 猶太木屐 | -3.26 | 45 | 23 |





