








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 602 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 217 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
20739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8932 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6875 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8198 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5734 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,432,768 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4029 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猶太木屐 | 61% | 446 |
| #2 | Naga | 56% | 400 |
| #3 | Halvoris | 56% | 589 |
| #4 | POWER | 54% | 515 |
| #5 | Oskitoonli | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猶太木屐 | 61% | 446 |
| #2 | Naga | 56% | 400 |
| #3 | Halvoris | 56% | 589 |
| #4 | POWER | 54% | 515 |
| #5 | Oskitoonli | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halvoris | 210 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | 猶太木屐 | 186 | 0.0207 |
| #3 | Naga | 77 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | POWER | 55 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Oskitoonli | 14 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halvoris | 1251 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #2 | POWER | 680 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #3 | 猶太木屐 | 412 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Oskitoonli | 204 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Naga | 156 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaXtor | +3.07 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Halvoris | +0.79 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | Naga | +0.25 | 63 | 30 |
| #4 | POWER | -0.60 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | Oskitoonli | -3.24 | 32 | 47 |





