








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2965 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2432 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1943 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2479 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,507 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Séamus | 43% | 146 |
| #8 | LANGZ | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | raco | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | UKM | Can I pet that DAWGGGGGG | 39% | 18 |
| #11 | MystiQ | 37% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClutchMeister | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | UKM | Can I pet that DAWGGGGGG | 8 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | LunarCelica | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Diversity | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | meemimeisseli | 7 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClutchMeister | 347 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kaza | 327 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Séamus | 205 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Diversity | 164 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | LunarCelica | 113 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diversity | +6.72 | 88 | 74 |
| #2 | meemimeisseli | +3.33 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | raco | +2.00 | 74 | 55 |
| #4 | TheMoreYouKnow | +1.59 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | LANGZ | +0.87 | 66 | 66 |





