








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 518 | 29% |
| Smokes | 175 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 743 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 343 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,142 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TSJORNÕI BUUMER | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | [CC]Flex Hex | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | ♿Francesco noize♿ | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Xagnar | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | ツAyoCubaツ | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♿Francesco noize♿ | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Xagnar | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | ツAyoCubaツ | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | SeiLas | 57% | 14 |
| #7 | -wNb.dRüCkTieeR? | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツAyoCubaツ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | [CC]Flex Hex | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Xagnar | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | SeiLas | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CC]Flex Hex | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | ツAyoCubaツ | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | ♿Francesco noize♿ | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | -wNb.dRüCkTieeR? | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Xagnar | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeiLas | +3.58 | 93 | 42 |
| #2 | -wNb.dRüCkTieeR? | +3.34 | 35 | 46 |
| #3 | ♿Francesco noize♿ | +2.11 | 27 | 48 |
| #4 | Kapitän zur See | +0.52 | 68 | 45 |
| #5 | [CC]Flex Hex | +0.05 | 53 | 45 |





