








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4563 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2892 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3995 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2700 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,768,028 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sterl | 45% | 82 |
| #7 | Ye | 44% | 185 |
| #8 | DONTpeekME | 40% | 30 |
| #9 | هذيانه | 38% | 101 |
| #10 | SoldACat4Ket | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ye | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | هذيانه | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Jack | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | SoldACat4Ket | 9 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | GingProtégé | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ye | 698 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | هذيانه | 271 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Boo Wh00 | 227 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | sterl | 180 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jack | 151 | 0.04 | 3 min |





