








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1169 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2884 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2469 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2310 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,622 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dome Pipe Failure | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | هذيانه | 53% | 75 |
| #3 | Ye | 49% | 241 |
| #4 | Boo | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | ski | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jack | 48% | 235 |
| #7 | sterl | 46% | 104 |
| #8 | dandoni27 | 46% | 173 |
| #9 | Boo Wh00 | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | MrVert | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack | 21 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | dandoni27 | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Ye | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | هذيانه | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | sterl | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ye | 914 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | dandoni27 | 460 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Boo | 263 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | هذيانه | 228 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | sterl | 227 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boo | +2.67 | 45 | 80 |
| #2 | Boo Wh00 | +1.78 | 56 | 77 |
| #3 | GingProtégé | +1.51 | 60 | 39 |
| #4 | Dome Pipe Failure | +0.92 | 79 | 36 |
| #5 | ski | +0.42 | 77 | 25 |





