








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1414 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 734 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,777 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flux | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | tea-- | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | NeverSatisfried | 52% | 79 |
| #4 | Exia | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | ImDallas | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ImDallas | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Nebula | 47% | 47 |
| #7 | xDrqgon | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | ShinyPenguin | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | frank_low_jaeger | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | tea-- | 9 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | xDrqgon | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Nebula | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ImDallas | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | 255 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Nebula | 245 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | Exia | 167 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ImDallas | 143 | 0.39 | 5 min |
| #5 | frank_low_jaeger | 101 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeverSatisfried | +4.69 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | tea-- | +2.55 | 74 | 35 |
| #3 | ImDallas | -0.36 | 42 | 85 |
| #4 | Nebula | -0.58 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Exia | -0.92 | 37 | 58 |





