








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1484 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1283 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1610 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1670 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $785,234 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Final Boss | 41% | 34 |
| #8 | riley | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | ✧ Javierhinox ✧ | 37% | 87 |
| #10 | Miguel Hernández | 34% | 35 |
| #11 | z3usMONSTAH | 33% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z3usMONSTAH | 18 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | ✧ Javierhinox ✧ | 13 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | ツ | 7 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | Miguel Hernández | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | *B[u]lG[a]r0* | 5 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✧ Javierhinox ✧ | 581 | 0.33 | 17 min |
| #2 | z3usMONSTAH | 457 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | ツ | 129 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #4 | empotrador | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Final Boss | 102 | 0.15 | 2 min |





