








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3857 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3227 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3642 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2975 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,606 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jSk | 61% | 66 |
| #2 | Feijjo | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | celaNnel | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | S4lmari | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | alulbot | 51% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alulbot | 28 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | jSk | 24 | 0.0176 |
| #3 | Porksu. | 19 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | celaNnel | 16 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | Miek | 14 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jSk | +2.20 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | 神 Motaatti 😯 | +1.76 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | celaNnel | +0.64 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | Miek | +0.56 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | Porksu. | -0.25 | 81 | 53 |





