








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2348 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5652 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3105 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3317 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,143,836 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winters | 61% | 82 |
| #2 | GangSTARclown | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | 'Bauer Gurke | 51% | 182 |
| #4 | julezkopf | 48% | 354 |
| #5 | JimDunkelBaum | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'Bauer Gurke | 191 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Winters | 133 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | GangSTARclown | 116 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | JimDunkelBaum | 82 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | julezkopf | 24 | 0.00 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ schneyseN | +2.43 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | GangSTARclown | +1.15 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | Winters | +1.02 | 50 | 64 |
| #4 | JimDunkelBaum | -0.21 | 59 | 59 |
| #5 | 'Bauer Gurke | -2.44 | 46 | 52 |





