








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 242 matches | ||
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2290 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4097 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 2722 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,064,888 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ schneyseN | 61% | 82 |
| #2 | julezkopf | 55% | 85 |
| #3 | 'Bauer Gurke | 55% | 120 |
| #4 | auch schneysen | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | Garry/k/ | 51% | 297 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ schneyseN | 61% | 82 |
| #2 | julezkopf | 55% | 85 |
| #3 | 'Bauer Gurke | 55% | 120 |
| #4 | auch schneysen | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | Garry/k/ | 51% | 297 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ schneyseN | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Garry/k/ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | auch schneysen | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | 'Bauer Gurke | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garry/k/ | 522 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | 'Bauer Gurke | 170 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | auch schneysen | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ツ schneyseN | 90 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | julezkopf | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auch schneysen | +2.70 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | ツ schneyseN | +2.54 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | Garry/k/ | +2.47 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Winters | +0.24 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | 'Bauer Gurke | -2.42 | 36 | 54 |





