










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 315 | 33% |
| Smokes | 64 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 122 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 456 | 48% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,312 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | fessor finesser | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | jj212th | 44% | 43 |
| #5 | Eviran | 41% | 29 |
| #6 | soysauce | 40% | 30 |
| #7 | alexander | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jj212th | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soysauce | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | jj212th | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | alexander | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | fessor finesser | 26 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Eviran | 17 | 0.03 | 1 min |





